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I have been asking God, Why am I here? A lot over the past several months. Do you ever ask this question?
If you have landed here on Recipes For Our Daily Bread for the first time, this post is very unusual for me. I typically only blog about recipes but this question God, Why am I here? Has been heavy on my heart. I figure if I cannot get rid of this burning desire to understand my purpose in life that some of my readers may be struggling with the same question.
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My Father-In-Law Passed Away
Last November 2015, my father-in-law went to be with God. I am not just saying he was the best father-in-law I could have ever asked for, but he was great. Don was a Godly man who cared about his family. I know that I know he prayed for all of us daily. He loved God and his family and worked hard to show his love. He was a tremendous servant. Anything anybody needed he was there to help. Don or (grandpa) always put God first and family next in his life. He passed away from complications with a bone marrow transplant. It was sudden and unexpected. Watching him lie lifeless in that hospital bed for days, made me think about my life. I started asking God, What am I here for? Will people remember I loved God and others when I am no longer here?
Aunt Dot Is Extremely Special
As I type this post, I am anticipating a phone call anytime letting me know my Aunt Dot passed away. Fortunately, I was able to make a trip to Mobile to see her this past week. She too was laying lifeless in her hospice bed. She slept most of the day I was there until late in the evening when I was leaving. I went to tell her I loved her, and she barely whispered I love you. After hearing this, I could not leave. I smothered her with kisses. With tears running down my eyes I told her how special she was to me and how much I loved her. Leaning over her bed and with my terrible singing, I sang Amazing Grace. She could barely whisper and could hardly open her eyes, but she tried to say Amazing Grace. I could see her moving her lips.
When I was about thirteen years old, my mother left my family. After my mom had left, I became very close to my Aunt Dot. She helped me plan my wedding and surprised me at all my bridal showers. She loved to cook and prepare large meals for our entire family. It was her house we gathered for a lot of holidays. To my knowledge, she never used a recipe but was naturally a great cook. My love for cooking started with my Aunt Dot. I saw first hand how food could bring a family together, and I wanted to learn how to do that. Aunt Dot always took the time to tell me how she prepared my favorite dishes.
The thing I admired most about Aunt Dot is like my father-in-law, Don; she was a servant. She took care of everyone who needed anything. This included my grandfather, her mother-in-law, my Aunt Dorris and many others including my father. Aunt Dot faithfully prepared meals for my dad for years before he passed away. She went with all of them on doctor’s visits and made sure they did not need anything.
Why Do I Ask The Question, God, Why Am I Here?
My family tells me that now that I am 50 I am going through a mid-life crisis. My mid-life crisis is not about material things. In fact, I have been giving everything away or tossing it in the trash lately. I am trying hard to simplify my life. My mid-life crisis is figuring out what I can do that will leave a lasting impression on generations to come. How can I help others? How can I teach others about God? My purpose in life in the past was to teach my kids about God. Most of you know my husband, and I have five children. Our kids include a son named Caleb who has had seventeen brain surgeries. Read more about Caleb here. We also have two adoptive children. Now that my kids are older, I find myself evaluating my life. What am I here for now? What am I supposed to be doing for the rest of my life?
My Deepest Desire
I love God and know that when I die, I am going to heaven. I know Jesus died on the cross for my sins, but I feel like my life is not complete here on earth. I should be doing something else with my life. Can you relate? I would love to be doing something more to teach people there is a loving God.
Like most people, I have also experienced a lot of sorrows in this world. Christians are not immune from difficulties. Just to name a few…
An alcoholic mother who left our family when I was a teenager
Sibling Problems due to a terrible childhood.
A gun put to my head at age 16
A son, Caleb, who has had 17 brain surgeries, cerebral palsy, seizures and more.
Two adopted children who have RAD, depression, ADHD, dyslexia and more. We have had a tough time with our adopted children, BUT my husband and I are all for adoption. We Pray, every child would have a chance to be adopted at the earliest age possible. If only children could be raised in a loving home, would help prevent loads of problems. If you would like to support adoption, PLEASE READ MY SHOWHOPE POST. I feel like doing something to help children get loving parents maybe what God is calling me to do, but I am just not sure what.
Life has not been easy, but God has always worked things out. He has been with me through every struggle. Without God, I would be CRAZY!
We will all experience death one day. All of our days are numbered. I guess I realize that more than ever. When my father passed away, I was only 24 years old. I was a Christian but way too young to realize life is short. Now that I have experienced many more deaths, I understand my days are numbered too. God knows the beginning and the end of all of our lives. My Aunt Dot told me this all the time. She said it would be well with her when her time comes but until then she would continue to enjoy the sunshine. Aunt Dot saw God in nature. She loved to garden and look at the enormous oak trees in her yard. She told me many times she could talk to God when she was working in her yard.
Stuff Weighs Me Down
There has to be something more to life than accumulating stuff all our lives. Stuff that we put in garage sales donate to Goodwill or toss in the trash. I have been getting rid of things. It is freeing knowing that I have less to clean and more time to spend on what is important in life.
What Am I Doing Now?
I am always asking God, Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? I beg him to use me to teach others about Him. I am going to start writing a blog post every month to help me encourage others. I wanted to start another blog to do this, but my family thinks three blogs would be crazy. They are right. Two blogs are a plateful, but it is not going to stop me from writing encouraging posts on Recipes For Our Daily Bread or Our American Travels. Maybe, it will force me to reevaluate my life and everything I do.
I Will Trust God and Find Out Where He Is Leading Me
PROVERBS 3: 5-6 (MSG)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do; everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track”.
I hope my posts will be encouraging and help figure out…
- God, Why am I here?
- What is important in life?
- Where is God Leading Me?